The Bay City Rollers could be heard just dimly in everybody’s minds so that could only have meant one thing it was Saturday night and the fifth week of the Fredericton Indoor Touch League was about to commence.

The Suited Spheniscidae would be double playing two different teams this week because the majority of them are off to the Las Vegas 7s to represent NB in the club side of the international tournament.  Good luck quackers and always bet on black!.  The first game of the evening say the Tuxedo masters take the floor against the Constipated Crusaders.  The Has Beens have been trying to regroup and remember last weeks defeat; that sometimers is a horrible thing.  The economic James Bond versions would open the scoring through some nifty ball handling and running by Jack “The Ripper” Skerry once again showing how it is done. Not to be outdone, recent pick up and resident Paul “Eddie Munster” Vernall would run hard and find holes in the defense times for 3 tries.   The Depends Dinosaurs would try to answer back in a convoluted and round about way with tries from Mat “Mexican” Trevors and Mark “The Flourish” Flynn however they would fall short 9-3.

            The second game would see the Pingu Pirates stay on the floor to face the young Kowalski Killers.   The Penguins must have been over-heated because it was a very close game for the first half.  The Kowalski Killers led by Matt “Ginger” Grant and Cesar “Motherlover” Morales would run the ball straight and hard for some very good yards and scoring chances.  The second half would be a different story as the Penguins went to the freezer aka outside to cool down.  They came back flying in a way only a Penguin could. The potent combination of Jack “ Spedazzling” Skerry  with 5 tries and Paul “VD” Vernall  with 4 would prove too much for the team of young offenders with the final score being 10-1.

            The ladies would be up next with the UNB 20/20 specials vs Sweetwaters STU.    The Grey Bush would open up the scoring with Amber |One Tree”  Hill popping one in from the corner.  Not to be outdone, Lindsay “THE” Croft would see the line twice in the game for the Saggy Bags.   STU would try to answer the call with some good ball control and dance moves a la Lady Gaga which would see Kiersten “Singapore Sling” Steeves crossing the line.  However, the 20/20 specials would become motivated by Trooper’s “Here for a Good Time, Not a Long Time” and would make sure the game would not go into overtime with  Kailey “Necromancer” Neil and Amber “Hellraiser” Hill scoring a try each to put the game out of reach. Final score 7-1.

            Next up the Cunning Stunts vs the UNB Muppet Babies.  This would prove to be a little rougher then what a touch league should be. Maybe it was the smelly diapers on the Muppet Babies which cause this game to get a little physical or the close score in any way it would prove to be a tightly contested match.  Tracey “Shake and Bake” Sode would be making sure the floor was still there with her butt as Alison “The Avalanche” Aiton forgot it was touch and came roaring down on an unsuspecting and unable to do a shake and bake Sode. Not deterred, The Young Guns would open the scoring with Mel “The Monster” MacKillivray breaking the D line and scoring up the middle. Not to be outdone and fresh from out west Jess “Dr.J” Johnson would answer for the Old Coots on  a beautiful run off a nice pass. The match would be a back and forth affair however in the dying minute of the game Tristen “The Hatchett” Hachey would deliver the final blow with a game winning try in the corner.  Final score 2-1.

            The only undefeated team left on the men’s side would take to the floor against a Locks team that always makes the ladies’ heart swoon. The Charlottetown Accord Assasians would be caught off guard by the run and gun offense of the Larger then Life and most people Locks.  Coleman “Man Meat” Llyod would open the scoring with a nice try in the middle from a pass by Zack “Effron” Fitch.    They couldn’t hold the lead though because league leading scorer Dave “Settle Down Clown” Misner would continue his scoring ways popping in one of his 5 tries to even the score.  It would be a back and forth affair but luckily it doesn’t cost 55 bucks to change sides like it does the Confederation bridge or both teams would be broke.  Marty “The Machine” MacMillian would help out the cause with 3 tries but Mike “ Certainly Doesn’t Have Both Oars in the Water” Deighan would null and void any chance of a win with 5 tries of his own.   Final score 14-10 for the nudist colony.

            The last match of the evening would pit the Burt’s Allstars against the Itty Bitty Ivory Growers.   Just like in real life the poaching began early and continued through out the match.  Walker “Dairy Queen” Blizzard would open the scoring on his signature razzle dazzle with sprinkles to find the try line.   Andrew “Fledging Foozballer” Reimer would score the next try by outsmarting the elephants to put one up through the middle. However, Iggy “Beefcake” Boslinikov would help to keep the score close with a try of his own.  The floodgates then opened as if the “Save the Petitcodiac” people were there to do so with Jude seeing the line for 4 tries on the night and Walker popping in 2 more.  The cajoling comedic dual of Colin “Whose on First? “and Chris “Whose on Second?|Burt would show up late and therefore have a hard time finding the try line.  They were not needed on the night though as the final score was 11-1 for the Burt’s Allstars.