Due to unforeseen circumstances the ladies and lads were moved to the brand new Currie Centre for what would be week 3 of the Fredericton touch league.  People were nervous and apprehensive about having to change from their familiar surroundings known as the LB Gym for someone new and DQ different. The blizzard which is known as the touch league descended upon unsuspecting and curious gym goers not knowing if a brawl was going to break out or if the insane asylum was out on a field trip.

            The first game of the night witnessed two undefeated teams, the SJ Penguins vs the PEI Potato Pickers. This game would prove to set the tone of the evening with quick ball movement and lots of tries of some very nice individual runs and teamwork.  The men who want to marry Anne of Green Gables would open the scoring with Dave “Ugly Toes” Misner touching down in the corner.  This would not be his last of the night for he would score 5 more against the stinky tuxedos.  However, SJ would prove to have their own ugly toes but he is known as Norman “Ugly Fingers” Baker.  He would touch down 3 tries for the quackers. Micheal “Salacious” Scott would have a banner game with 2 tries and good running.  However the Penguins couldn’t digest the potatoes and came out on the losing end 11-7.

            The second game would see the ever lovable Lanky Locks take on the Kowalski Killers.  This would be a tight match unlike most of the others.   Zach “My name should be spelled “Zack” Fitch would lead the charge against a rebounding KK team.   With his ever graceful and gangly movements he would run hard lines all night.  However, newcomer Pat “Life Insurance” Price would make an impact scoring a try to tie the game all the while smelling like sweet orchids.  Mad Max Falkjar and Jason “Big Sexy” McKnight would show some good stuff out there for the Locks.   However, the Kowalski Killers would score in the last minute of play to win the game 3-2.  

            The third game would see the Burt’s Allstars vs the Free Agents.  This would be a one sided affair with Free Agents being a younger team.  However they did have some good sequences going with Alex “DoWell” Duguid hitting some good holes against a tough defence.  The highlight of the night was when Marty “McDouble M” MacMillian touching down for a try and the entire crowd cheering…great support by all.  Chris “Baby Face Killer” Burt would touch down for 5 tries while Jasmin “Snuhanitchas” Kukivica would score 4. The return of Simon “Centenarian” Pacey would increase the amount of arthritis and average age by at least 2 points but The Burt’ Allstars would come up on top 15-1.

            The final men’s game of the night would see the Baby Elephants taking on the antiquated Has Beens.   Evan “Boom Boom” Bradshaw and Alex “The Worst of the MacQuarries” would show the league what legends are made of with some really good runs and ball handling for the big men.   The Has Beens would see resurgence by Mark “Machismo” Flynn scoring 3 tries for the Depends wearers.   The Baby Elephants would try to muster a comeback on epic meal time proportions by would fall short of a score of 4-0 against the people who smell like death.

            The ladies would take the floor next with the Cunning Stunts taking on STU.  STU would open the scoring by Amanda “Squeaky Shoes” Steeves breaking through a hole.   However, the Stunning Cunts would not be outdone with some good work by Lindsay “PRS Organizer” Oakes moving the ball and running well resulting in a try for her.  However, Kiersten” I am not related to Amanda” Steeves would score two tries for STU midway through the game.   Alison “Stonewall” Aiton would prove hard to get around and at one time it looked almost like a rugby match due to an innocent and unintentional occurrence.  Hannah “Way Better Then My Brother Josh” would help to increase the lead in the second half. Not to be outdone Sue “Ms Manifique” MacDonald would score a late try but the Cunning Stunts would come up short to the thespian Tommies 5-4 in a great match to watch.

            The last game of the night would pit the two UNB teams against one another, the old guard who are officially those creepy old people who hang around the Social Club when they belong at the 20/20 vs the team who are too young and can still hang out at high school parties and be cool.  The old hags would open the scoring and score quickly with Sharon “Me Needs A Job” Johnston and Lindsay “Pick Pocket” Oakes grabbing to errant passes to put a lead of 3-0.  However, the second half would see the hags tire since it was passed their bedtime and the Young Guns started to control the game. Erika ‘Worst Truro Rookie Ever”Brown would lead the charge along with Tristen “The Hatchett”Hachy.  This would bring the score to 3-2. However, Michelle “Corset” Decourcey would pop a try in before Tracy “Shake and Bake” Sode would put on a nice show and go to score from her side of the court.  The prepubescents would fall to the menopauses 4-3 in another great game.